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Bacon & Sausage Breakfast Tacos....Fuck I'm Hungry!!



Izzy's Breakfast Taco-notice the excess of Bacon

 Dammit, why do I do this to myself? I start looking through food blogs and recipes before lunch and of course I'm starving, so it all looks sooooo goooood and I can't wait to get home and try a new recipe....then I look at the sad sack of food I brought for lunch (home made soup and a bun); it's OK, but not what I want after reading about bacon inspired dishes for hours...I mean just a few minutes...I am at work.
There was one that I had seen before, the bacon weave wrapped around cheese which had a link to another site where there was a bacon weave rolled up around scrambled eggs, which kinda reminded me of the bacon and egg tacos I make....oh internet, what a tangled web of bacon you weave....hhhmmm bacon weave webs for Halloween treats??? Hhhmmm...loosely weaved and covered in chocolate, maybe some white chocolate highlights to enhance a web-ish design? Sweet Jebus I am a genius! Remind me about that idea, I will most likely forget in the morning...

And once again I digress. So after all that I was hungry for bacon...sigh...and none to be found here in the office....with just a natural food store next door, which I can tell you does NOT sell bacon in any way shape or form...damm hippies can go die in a hole.

So ANYWAYS....The point is I thought I should share this recipe with my whopping 8 followers...you lucky little devils, this is THE BEST breakfast taco you will ever eat. FOR REAL.

Bacon, Sausage and Egg Breakfast Tacos...Ok Brunch because breakfast is never served before 11am in my house.

You Will Need...Serves 4, get more if you are feeding more people...der.

- 1 package soft small corn tortillas
- 8 eggs
- a few splashes of cream or milk
- 1 pound of bacon
- 8 breakfast or 4 chorizo sausages
- 1/2 cup cheddar & mozza cheese, grated
- 1/2 cup salsa-homemade or store bought, I really don't care
- several dashes of green Tabasco - because it is so much better than the red.
- 8-10 pickled jalapeno slices (optional for the kids I guess...wimps)

1. Cook your bacon and sausage in whichever way you prefer - I like to bake my bacon in the oven as you all know. Sausage I would assume most, if not all, people would do it in a frying pan. If you're smart like me, I bbq my chorizo when it's not pouring fucking rain outside.

2. Crack eggs into a large-ish bowl and beat gently. If you beat the crap out your eggs before you scramble them that is why they turn out watery and gross. Do it just enough to break up the yolks and breakdown some of that really slimy slug like white part  (which is called the CHALAZAE,

it's like the egg's umbilical cord...once again I say, nature is gross...thanks Google). Heat your egg scrambling pan with a good amount of butter on medium high, like about 6. Once the butter is foamy pour in the eggs. Using a flat wooden spatula, stir the eggs every 10 seconds or so, moving the cooked bits off the bottom of the pan, Do this gently as well, we're not mashing potatoes here people. When the eggs are about half way cooked but still runny, remove the pan from the heat and add a few big splashes of cream or milk. Gently fold and stir in all the cream/milk, then put back on the heat to finish cooking. We like our eggs soft and creamy so after I add the milk I do another 30-45 seconds on the heat,  then off and keep folding till they are perfect. Izbot will only eat eggs cooked this way, my dad made her scrambled eggs one morning and she wouldn't eat them because he put the milk in with the raw eggs. I wanted to smack her for being so rude, but hey, the kid has high standards. Grampa's eggs come in a very close second thought cuz he knows how to not over cook them. OK seriously, I did not intend this to turn out as a lesson on how to scramble eggs, but I can't help myself, I'm a dork.

3. Heat a frying pan on high till very hot, not quite smoking. Once it's REALLY  hot, you can warm the tortillas one at at time. I used to do it straight on the burner, but they get kinda burned tasting. Apparently it works well with a gas stove on low, but since I don't have one I can't tell you how well that turns out.

4. Assemble as follows... in the warm tortilla...1 sausage ( if using chorizo, slice in half lengthwise), 2 pieces of bacon, some eggs, Tabasco, cheese, salsa, jalapenos. You could throw on some sour cream, avocado, squeeze of lime as well if you're feeling fancy. I usually use my homemade salsa with has lots of lime and cilantro in it, so if you're just using store bought, try that. Or make a quick salsa lazy-ass, it's pretty simple and quick.

We do have this quite often for breakfast on the weekends, the Izbot and Minellynator both like it because they add whatever they like JUST LIKE WHEN IT'S TACO NIGHT. And The Man will eat anything I cook cuz he hearts me. Amazing. Simple. Bacony. Delicious.

A bit O' Rage from a BSMNT dweller

Ok so yes, this has nothing to do with bacon, but, come on kids, you know the words, this is my blog and I will talk about whatever the hell I want.

So I'm looking for a new place to live, it's annoying and frustrating...so to help me get out some of my anger, I posted this to CL to make me feel a bit better...

Dear Landlords of BSMNT suites

To all of the nice landlords, let me say thank you for opening your home to renters. We appreciate the opportunity to live in a house rather than an apartment or condo. But not all suites are created equal, so here are a few pointers for those less than stellar landlords…

First of all, your after market “renovations” are a joke. The 5’X4’ bedroom you crammed into the corner will not fit a bed, let alone a dresser…a dresser is required because of course, there is no closet. And when designing the kitchen, please keep in mind that it is customary to have all of the appliances in the same room. Placing the fridge in the hallway renders the kitchen just a room with a stove and sink, for of course there is no dishwasher and barely any cupboards, and greatly impedes access to the “bedroom”. I will say only this about the bathroom “reno’s”; are you kidding me?

Secondly, unless you want a dirty, smelly tenant, some sort of access to laundry should be available. I cannot fathom why you think it unnecessary for us to wash our clothes, bedding, towels etc in a timely fashion. Consider the emergency washing needs, like when a child vomits on the sheets in the middle of the night, or having to wash all the towels I own after your toilet upstairs flows over and drains through the airs ducts, through what is my ceiling downstairs, and pours possibly contaminated water all over my floors….Yes, I know there are Laundromats, but honestly, after working 2 jobs just to make ends meet and pay a portion or your mortgage, I am a bit tired, and the last thing I want to do in the evening is pack up my dirty laundry, haul it half way across town and sit there for hours watching a washing machine spin. Although I suppose I could get a third job to fill the time wasted sitting around waiting for the clothes to dry.

And to keep this short, my third point. I would appreciate the luxury of having a small pet. I understand your previous tenant, the crazy lady with 7 cats, destroyed your home, but please believe me when I tell you that I only have one small cat and she has never pissed or shit on the floor, or shredded walls. I understand that replacing flooring can be quite an expense and a lot of work on your part because you refuse to hire a professional to do any of the work on your pain in the ass mortgage helper…I mean suite. What I don’t understand is how you could possibly have the balls to request a $1500 damage deposit because you stupidly spent $3800 to replace the flooring in your 387 sq ft suite. Not only is this totally asinine, it is also against the Residential Tenancy act….you may want to pick up a copy.

So once again, thank you to all the great homeowners out there who provide lovely, reasonable places for us bsmnt dwellers to live…and to those money grubbing slumlords… you sirs and madams can kindly suck it.

Yes I know, totally juvenile and probably a bit hurtful, but whatever, it's my opinion and that's the only one that counts right? RIGHT? Right.

Have a pleasant day.

I Should Bottle This Shit And Sell It!

So yeah, here we are again, it's been how long since my last post? Quite a while me thinks, so this is seriously overdue. Thanks Miguel for the reminder, team Grizzlecorn works in magical ways....

Oh summer, beautiful warm hot sunny summer. I love it, it makes me feel strong and whole, being outside in the nature, sitting in clean, crisp creeks surrounded by happy children, great friends and ice cold beer. It really doesn't get much better - Life.Is.Good. Our provincial motto is "The Most Beautiful Place on Earth", totally corny but absolutely true. We are so blessed to live here, I really do thank my Dad every day for driving me so crazy as a teenager that I needed to leave Saskatchewan and get as far away from him as humanly possible....Love you Daddy! Full of teenage angst, anger, and bitchiness, I packed up my belongings and with all the drama of a 15 year old, stormed off in a huff to have a"better" life. HA! Was I in for a surprise!! I have done a lot of struggling to survive over the last 20 years, but have learned so many mountainously ( real word?) powerful lessons about strength, character, friendship, family and love that it has all been worth it, and I truly do thank you Dad for letting me go, as hard as I know it was, to make my own way. And to my Mom for all the lessons she has given me about the strength of one's soul and determination, and for letting me make my own choices and decisions and supporting the outcome of the more unfortunate ones. And now, as I sit here writing this as the mother of an almost 15 year old extremely dramatic teenage girl full of angst and defiance, I see that it is mixed with strength and confidence. I realize that if it hadn't been for the long tough journey I've been on, she would not be the amazingly powerful young person she is today and will continue to grow into. I am so excited for her future I could almost puke. Really, it give me butterflies and stuff. Now to work on the Izbot....sigh...oh my dear sweet unicorn child :)
I suppose you're thinking, given the title, what, does she think she can bottle this happiness shit for a rainy day? Nope, not that cliche...it is actually an indirect quote from my daughter, yes the 15 year old Minellynator, who COMPLIMENTED me on how good the last batch of BBQ sauce turned out. I guess we really do love each other and shit. I originally started to blog about the best barbeque sauce on the planet -mine, and got to thinking...there is a disclaimer on the top of the page, not my fault if you failed to read the part about rambling.
So now dear blog readers, I am going to give this gift to you, and since I only know of about 10 people (half of them family of some sort) who bother to read this thing, I assume the recipe is fairly safe and in good hands. Enjoy with your burger, chicken, ribs, any kind of dead creature will do...rabbit...porcupine...squirrel...hey I'm from Mission, this place is riddled with dirty hippy rednecks.

So you will need, in approximate measures....
- 2 cloves garlic
- 1/2 small onion, about 2-3 tbs minced
***you can skip the fresh and use 1 tbs garlic powder and 1 tbs onion powder, it actually keeps better. But use fresh if you're making a small batch
- 2 cups Ketchup
- 1/2 cup cider vinegar
- 1/4 cup brown sugar
- 1/4 - 1/2 cups water
- 2 tbsp cumin
- 1 tbsp coriander
- 1 tsp cardamom
- 2 tbsp chili power
- 1 tbsp dried oregano
- 1 tbsp dried mustard
- fresh ground pepper
- about 3- 4 shakes liquid smoke
- about 5-6 Worcestershire sauce
- 1 tbsp tamarind or soy sauce
- 2 tbsp honey or maple syrup
- 2 bay leaves

1. Saute the onion and garlic in a tbsp of oil till soft, just a minute or two.
2. Mix all the other ingredients in a bowl and stir it all up...duh, what else would you do?
3. Add to pot and simmer for about 15-20 minutes or so, adding water if it's too thick. Remove the bay leaves before you use it or you could choke to death on them....if you were to drink it. Anyways you can add delete whatever you like to this recipe, I'm sure I've forgotten something. Basically I just grab my spice basket and start dumping shit in and it turns out awesome...cuz I'm cool like that....and I've been doing this cooking thing for a ling time. I will re-post if I've forgotten something important.

The Road Trip That Saved My Life By Almost Killing Me...

So OK, remember how I was all doom and gloom last week? Well, I'm feeling much better now. And all it took was a road trip with some of my favorite people in the world , The MNE Family.... these are the best bunch of friends a bacon lover could possibly ask for, we had the time of our lives....well most of us I think. I guess I can only speak for myself and the people that were immediately around me...and there may be some forgotten moments that are lost forever due to over consumption of Jager.

So without further ado, here is my simple recipe for Eggs Benny, made my bacon way. Mostly it's just tips about how to poach eggs and cook the bacon, but I must share something of that trip here to induct the weekend into the annals of the world wide web history....annnals...A.P.!!!
Wild Cow Breakfast
Enough to feed 4 wild cows after a long night of ass porn.

- 4 English Muffins
- 1 1/2 lbs of thick sliced bacon
- 8 Eggs
- 2-3 Tbsp white vinegar, one extra large splash
- Salt

- Hollandaise Sauce- you can either try and make it or use a package. When we showed up at Dawn's house all hung over and scruffy to take over her kitchen, there was already a pot made so I just used that.

- Paprika

1. Place as much bacon as you can fit on a parchment lined cookie sheet. Bake in the oven on 325 ish for about 25-30 minutes. I find that overlapping when you have a large amount of bacon works just fine, in fact it works better because the bacon kind of braises in it's own fatty goodness. I usually flip it once about half way through. Keep it in longer if you like it crispy, but I find soft bacon works best for the Benny.

2. Bring a shallow pot of water to the boil. Add a large pinch of salt and the vinegar. Turn down to a medium simmer.

3. Crack 1 egg into a small bowl, making sure not to break the yolk. If you do, throw it out, it's useless now.

4. At water level, gently tip the egg into the pot allowing a small amount of water into the bowl. This gives the egg a gentle entry (OMG Serena...just a little bit, I'll be gentle, I promise I won't hurt you...) into the hot water. Let it sink a bit and turn white for about 15 seconds, and gently move it around the pan, folding the white over itself. Keep the egg floating until it is set so it doesn't stick to the bottom of the pan, it should firm up a bit in about another 15-20 seconds. Repeat the same process with each egg, swirling the water as you go to keep them separated. If you use a large enough pan you should be able to do all 8. But if you're not a cool as me, you may only want to do 4 at a time. Cooking time will vary depending on how runny/hard you like your eggs. Keep the water at a very gentle simmer on low.

So the vinegar is key here. Vinegar is what stops it from spreading out into the water and becoming a white cloudy mess. Don't worry about putting too much in, I dumped about a 1/2 a cup in once and didn't notice any difference int the taste...although the whites were a bit tougher, but still good.

5. Toast and butter the english muffins.

Once everything is cooked, assemble as follows: spread a spoonful of hollandaise over each english muffin-yes it does already have butter on it, you got a problem with that? Layer on 3 slices of bacon, the poached egg, more hollandaise and dust with paprika.

That's about it, pretty simple once you get the hang of poaching the eggs...and taming wild cows.

*Sigh* Oh Bacon, where art thou???

I'm tired, just bloody bone weary and have just about had enough....not just about, I have had enough. Day in day out struggle struggle struggle just to get through each dreary moment. Some days there are only a few things that make it possible to drag my sorry ass through the day----the Izbot, the Minellynator, and the possibility of Bacon. Yes, this is one sad bacon girl/lady/bitch today - the weather, the boredom of this soul sucking job, the life stress, it is all a-piling up on these narrow little shoulders, threatening to crush my spirit to the ground...like Wile E. Coyote waiting for the rocks to come crashing down...how is it I always manage to find the exact picture I'm thinking about? Weird....













For a while now I have been discontent with life in general, which is really not like me. To say my life is challenging is a fair assessment - single Mom, 2 kids, no support, well paying job that has tanked into a low paying job, which is in an industry that is the antitheses of my morals and quasi-socialist values, with little opportunity to make significant change - but despite all of this I have for the most part in the past been able to maintain a positive and upbeat outlook. "The sun will come up tomorrow and line the clouds with silver, while unicorns prance in the meadows full of pots of gold and rainbows" has been my attitude for the most part. For without that optimism I would be dragged across that thin line that we toe between happiness and despair. I don't really know why things are suddenly getting too me, maybe just too much weighing on the old brain...maybe it's because I have a milestone birthday is coming up? Maybe it's because I feel like being a gigantic whiny baby? Ahhhh, who knows...OK, ugh, yuck this is gross, I have turned into that type of person that I despise for their weakness and pissy, pathetic, "oh woe is me" attitude. Jesus Christ on a cracker that's enough, at this rate I'm gonna have to bitch slap myself silly.

So, what does a girl turn to in times of sadness and self pity? Well typically it's chocolate, but hey, this is me we're talking about here, so bacon it is...covered in chocolate and topping some fluffy delicious chocolate cupcakes. Now I just may have a reason to go on....

Chocolate Covered Bacon Bits

- 8 slices thick bacon - cook till crisp but not burnt
- 1 ½ cups milk chocolate chips, melt over double boiler

1. Dice the bacon into about 1/2 inch pieces and dip into milk chocolate, creating savory/sweet chocolate bacon chips.

2.Rest each small piece on a wire rack covered with parchment paper.

3. You will notice after you have chopped the bacon into pieces that there are crumbs left over. Grind them up fine - you have just made your own real bacon salt, not that garbage that contains no real bacon and is vegan friendly-and sprinkle over the chocolate covered pieces while the chocolate is still hot- You can refrigerate to cool.

The Ultimate Bacon Chocolate Cupcakes:
Makes around 20-22 small cupcakes

Chocolate Cupcakes

•1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
•1/2 cup boiling water and 1/2 cup cold water
•1 1/3 cups flour
•2 tsp baking powder
•1/2 tsp salt
•1/2 cup unsalted butter, at room temp ****
•1 cup white sugar
•2 eggs – room temp
•2 tsp vanilla extract
•1/2 cup Bacon Chocolate Chips
•Fleur de sel
****The original recipe called for 1/4 cup butter, and 1/4 cup hard bacon fat. I chose to forgo the bacon fat, I just thought they would turn out greasy...but try it if you like.

Preheat oven to 375°F. Line cupcake pan with paper liners.

1.Combine boiling water and cocoa in a heatproof bowl. Whisk until smooth then add 1/2 cup cold water or it will take forever to cool to room tempureature. DO NOT ADD THIS HOT OR IT WILL RUIN YOUR BATTER.

2.In a large bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder and salt.

3.In a separate bowl, cream butter and sugar together until light and fluffy -this is key for light fluffy cupcakes, beat them till they cry... it can actually take quite a while, since it's cold and disgustingly rainy outside, my room temp butter takes a while to fluff up-like about 10 minutes in the Kitchenaid.

4. Add eggs, one at a time, mixing thoroughly in between. Mix in vanilla extract.

5. Add flour mixture and beat until just combined. Add room temperature cocoa mixture and mix until smooth. Stir in about 3/4 of the bacon chocolate chips if desired. I just put them on top.

6. Fill each lined cupcake tin 2/3 full. Bake for 15-18 minutes, or until cupcakes are springy to touch and a toothpick insert in the middle comes out clean. Let cool before applying frosting.

Chocolate Buttercream Icing

•4 oz unsweetened chocolate
•2/3 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
•1 1/3 cup powdered sugar, sifted
•1 1/2 t vanilla extract
•Fleur de sel

1.Set up a double boiler: heat water in a saucepan over high heat. Chop chocolate and place into a heatproof bowl set on top of the saucepan of simmering water. Stir gently until chocolate is completely melted and smooth. Remove from heat and let cool to room temperature.

2.In a large bowl, beat butter until creamy.

3. Add powdered sugar and beat until light and fluffy. Mix in vanilla and melted chocolate. Beat on high speed until frosting is smooth.

4. Spread or pipe onto cooled cupcakes and sprinkle the top of each with a pinch of fleur de sel.

5. Top with 3 chocolate covered bacon pieces.

As you can probably imagine, these are the best cupcakes you will ever eat. Seriously. And make extra Bacon Chocolate Chips, probably about a pounds worth of bacon, because you will want to eat them all...if this don't cure a shitty attitude, nothing will.

Bacon Wrapped Pork Roast

Whoa, hey there what's going on??? Where have I been? Well I'd like to say I've been really busy doing some super cool stuff, but we all know that's not entirely true....just been doing life and things and haven't gotten around to posting anything lately, but that DOES NOT mean I haven't been busy makin' bacon. Oh no, since my last post I have done a mean pork stuffed and bacon wrapped roast, made Chocolate Cupcakes with Bacon Chocolate Chips, I have deep fried bacon two ways....the list is long people so I better get on it eh!



So for an MNE Family bbq I of course had to make a pork dish, because if you think I like the pork products, look out! This bunch are pork fanatics....might have something to do with how awesome I can cook, or maybe they're just a bunch of swine loving misfits...perhaps we will never know the truth....anyhow.....on to the recipe.

I had this pork shoulder roast, it was all nice and evenly dressed with string, all pink and fatty and lovely and juicy...Ok, calming down now. So I says to myself, "Bacon Bitch, what are we gonna do to make this an even more porky dish?" Why of course, we'll stuff it with pork and wrap it pork...but wait, we've heard this one before....oh no no no not quite. If you recall the last pork on pork on pork trifecta was LOIN wrapped in PROSCIUTTO....this my dears is a full on pork butt wrapped in a bacon weave, stuffed with pork sausage...that's right, say it again, butt, bacon, sausage...and it went a little somethin' like this.....



I think I used....

1, 5-6 lb boneless pork shoulder (butt)
2 sprigs rosemary
butcher's twine.

...for the stuffing

butter and olive oil for sautee-ing
-2 Italian sausages, casing removed
-1 small onion, diced
-1 clove garlic, minced
-2 slices of bacon, diced
-3/4 -1 cup chicken broth
-2 apples, peeled, cored and diced
-2-3 cups of dried bread cut into about 1/2 inch square pieces
-1 sprig fresh rosemary, chopped fine
-1 spring fresh thyme, chopped fine
-1/2 tsp of dried cumin

This is how I do it...

1. Heat about 1 tbsp of oil in pan, crumble in sausage meat and cook till brown and lovely. Remove from pan and put it on a plate for now.

2. In the same pan as the sausage, without cleaning it, add bacon and cook till bacon is done but still soft, if needed add each butter and oil and saute onion and garlic till fragrant (ooohhh big word!).

3. Add the apples, cook for a few minutes till they're a bit soft. Add the sausage back in, then the herbs, cumin and a small bit of salt if you think it needs it, depends on how salty your bacon is, and lots of cracked pepper.

4. Add bread, stir to mix in, then chicken broth. Stir well till the bread is moistened. Let cool....while you make your bacon weave!

The Weave

Now I don't think I've been over this, but I'm going to try and explain it without pictures. You will need 12-14 strips of bacon for this. I choose the longest and most uniform in width from the butcher's case...yes they do look at me like I 'm a loser until I explain what I am doing. Then they look at me with raptured awe...that's OK, I'm getting used to it.

**Side note, there's one girl there who still looks at me like I'm crazy, but for fuck's sake, if you do not love meat and eating meat then you have no business working in a butcher shop. So there, screw you lady.

On a large piece of parchment paper, lay out 6-7 strips side by side vertically, so they are just touching.

Staring at the top left, lay one strip horizontally across, begin weaving on top of the first vertical strip, under the second, over the third, etc till you get to the end.

Repeat this process with the second horizontal strip starting under the first vertical strip, and continue along with each strip, alternating over under over. Continue with all the strips of bacon. The end result should be a square "bacon mat"



Does this sound complicated, or, condescending? It's like in Kindergarten when you learned to weave Easter baskets out of construction paper.

Anyways moving on...set the weave aside for now.

Take your roast and if it's all tied up, well snip those strings off. It should open up, lay it out a flat as possible. Now we get messy....place a layer of stuffing over the whole inside, fold back up and re-tie with butcher's twine. Where to tie should be fairly straight forward as there will be lines left over from the original dressings...der.

Once you have it all secure and as much of the stuffing crammed in there as possible, you are going to wrap that bad boy in the bacon weave.

Place the roast with the seam to the side facing you, you dont want in on the bottom or the stuffing will just fall out and burn.

Using the parchment papers as leverage, lay the weave over top of the roast, covering the seam. It will probably not fit all the way around the bottom, but this is good, the bacon on the bottom would just burn as well. Tuck the weave in towards the bottom as much as possible, securing with toothpicks so it stays in place. Place in a disposable tin roasting pan, you will most likely never be able to use the pan again....Stick a few rosemary sprigs in under the weave before it goes on the bbq. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE PLACE THE ROAST DIRECTLY ON THE RACK!! SEE Warning...The Hazrds of bbqing Bacon! FOR A FULL DESCRIPTION OF WHY....

I did this low and slow on the bbq, about 300 degrees max. Cover with tinfoil for the first 2 hours, then uncover for the last 1 /2 to 2 hours. Use your meat thermometre that you have had plenty of time to buy to check for done-ness. Take it off the heat when you read about 145-150 and lest rest tented End temp goal is 160, end result looks like a giant ball of bacon all weaved together, golden, crispy and beautiful.

This was enjoyed by my favourite group of people, in my beautiful back yard and topped off with a fire and marshmallow roast. Another perfect MNE Family event.