Tuesday, June 15, 2010

*Sigh* Oh Bacon, where art thou???

I'm tired, just bloody bone weary and have just about had enough....not just about, I have had enough. Day in day out struggle struggle struggle just to get through each dreary moment. Some days there are only a few things that make it possible to drag my sorry ass through the day----the Izbot, the Minellynator, and the possibility of Bacon. Yes, this is one sad bacon girl/lady/bitch today - the weather, the boredom of this soul sucking job, the life stress, it is all a-piling up on these narrow little shoulders, threatening to crush my spirit to the ground...like Wile E. Coyote waiting for the rocks to come crashing down...how is it I always manage to find the exact picture I'm thinking about? Weird....

For a while now I have been discontent with life in general, which is really not like me. To say my life is challenging is a fair assessment - single Mom, 2 kids, no support, well paying job that has tanked into a low paying job, which is in an industry that is the antitheses of my morals and quasi-socialist values, with little opportunity to make significant change - but despite all of this I have for the most part in the past been able to maintain a positive and upbeat outlook. "The sun will come up tomorrow and line the clouds with silver, while unicorns prance in the meadows full of pots of gold and rainbows" has been my attitude for the most part. For without that optimism I would be dragged across that thin line that we toe between happiness and despair. I don't really know why things are suddenly getting too me, maybe just too much weighing on the old brain...maybe it's because I have a milestone birthday is coming up? Maybe it's because I feel like being a gigantic whiny baby? Ahhhh, who knows...OK, ugh, yuck this is gross, I have turned into that type of person that I despise for their weakness and pissy, pathetic, "oh woe is me" attitude. Jesus Christ on a cracker that's enough, at this rate I'm gonna have to bitch slap myself silly.

So, what does a girl turn to in times of sadness and self pity? Well typically it's chocolate, but hey, this is me we're talking about here, so bacon it is...covered in chocolate and topping some fluffy delicious chocolate cupcakes. Now I just may have a reason to go on....

Chocolate Covered Bacon Bits

- 8 slices thick bacon - cook till crisp but not burnt
- 1 ½ cups milk chocolate chips, melt over double boiler

1. Dice the bacon into about 1/2 inch pieces and dip into milk chocolate, creating savory/sweet chocolate bacon chips.

2.Rest each small piece on a wire rack covered with parchment paper.

3. You will notice after you have chopped the bacon into pieces that there are crumbs left over. Grind them up fine - you have just made your own real bacon salt, not that garbage that contains no real bacon and is vegan friendly-and sprinkle over the chocolate covered pieces while the chocolate is still hot- You can refrigerate to cool.

The Ultimate Bacon Chocolate Cupcakes:
Makes around 20-22 small cupcakes

Chocolate Cupcakes

•1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
•1/2 cup boiling water and 1/2 cup cold water
•1 1/3 cups flour
•2 tsp baking powder
•1/2 tsp salt
•1/2 cup unsalted butter, at room temp ****
•1 cup white sugar
•2 eggs – room temp
•2 tsp vanilla extract
•1/2 cup Bacon Chocolate Chips
•Fleur de sel
****The original recipe called for 1/4 cup butter, and 1/4 cup hard bacon fat. I chose to forgo the bacon fat, I just thought they would turn out greasy...but try it if you like.

Preheat oven to 375°F. Line cupcake pan with paper liners.

1.Combine boiling water and cocoa in a heatproof bowl. Whisk until smooth then add 1/2 cup cold water or it will take forever to cool to room tempureature. DO NOT ADD THIS HOT OR IT WILL RUIN YOUR BATTER.

2.In a large bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder and salt.

3.In a separate bowl, cream butter and sugar together until light and fluffy -this is key for light fluffy cupcakes, beat them till they cry... it can actually take quite a while, since it's cold and disgustingly rainy outside, my room temp butter takes a while to fluff up-like about 10 minutes in the Kitchenaid.

4. Add eggs, one at a time, mixing thoroughly in between. Mix in vanilla extract.

5. Add flour mixture and beat until just combined. Add room temperature cocoa mixture and mix until smooth. Stir in about 3/4 of the bacon chocolate chips if desired. I just put them on top.

6. Fill each lined cupcake tin 2/3 full. Bake for 15-18 minutes, or until cupcakes are springy to touch and a toothpick insert in the middle comes out clean. Let cool before applying frosting.

Chocolate Buttercream Icing

•4 oz unsweetened chocolate
•2/3 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
•1 1/3 cup powdered sugar, sifted
•1 1/2 t vanilla extract
•Fleur de sel

1.Set up a double boiler: heat water in a saucepan over high heat. Chop chocolate and place into a heatproof bowl set on top of the saucepan of simmering water. Stir gently until chocolate is completely melted and smooth. Remove from heat and let cool to room temperature.

2.In a large bowl, beat butter until creamy.

3. Add powdered sugar and beat until light and fluffy. Mix in vanilla and melted chocolate. Beat on high speed until frosting is smooth.

4. Spread or pipe onto cooled cupcakes and sprinkle the top of each with a pinch of fleur de sel.

5. Top with 3 chocolate covered bacon pieces.

As you can probably imagine, these are the best cupcakes you will ever eat. Seriously. And make extra Bacon Chocolate Chips, probably about a pounds worth of bacon, because you will want to eat them all...if this don't cure a shitty attitude, nothing will.

1 comment:

  1. oh Jen... come out, see me & the kidlets.... the comedy will make you laugh.