Wednesday, August 18, 2010

A bit O' Rage from a BSMNT dweller

Ok so yes, this has nothing to do with bacon, but, come on kids, you know the words, this is my blog and I will talk about whatever the hell I want.

So I'm looking for a new place to live, it's annoying and to help me get out some of my anger, I posted this to CL to make me feel a bit better...

Dear Landlords of BSMNT suites

To all of the nice landlords, let me say thank you for opening your home to renters. We appreciate the opportunity to live in a house rather than an apartment or condo. But not all suites are created equal, so here are a few pointers for those less than stellar landlords…

First of all, your after market “renovations” are a joke. The 5’X4’ bedroom you crammed into the corner will not fit a bed, let alone a dresser…a dresser is required because of course, there is no closet. And when designing the kitchen, please keep in mind that it is customary to have all of the appliances in the same room. Placing the fridge in the hallway renders the kitchen just a room with a stove and sink, for of course there is no dishwasher and barely any cupboards, and greatly impedes access to the “bedroom”. I will say only this about the bathroom “reno’s”; are you kidding me?

Secondly, unless you want a dirty, smelly tenant, some sort of access to laundry should be available. I cannot fathom why you think it unnecessary for us to wash our clothes, bedding, towels etc in a timely fashion. Consider the emergency washing needs, like when a child vomits on the sheets in the middle of the night, or having to wash all the towels I own after your toilet upstairs flows over and drains through the airs ducts, through what is my ceiling downstairs, and pours possibly contaminated water all over my floors….Yes, I know there are Laundromats, but honestly, after working 2 jobs just to make ends meet and pay a portion or your mortgage, I am a bit tired, and the last thing I want to do in the evening is pack up my dirty laundry, haul it half way across town and sit there for hours watching a washing machine spin. Although I suppose I could get a third job to fill the time wasted sitting around waiting for the clothes to dry.

And to keep this short, my third point. I would appreciate the luxury of having a small pet. I understand your previous tenant, the crazy lady with 7 cats, destroyed your home, but please believe me when I tell you that I only have one small cat and she has never pissed or shit on the floor, or shredded walls. I understand that replacing flooring can be quite an expense and a lot of work on your part because you refuse to hire a professional to do any of the work on your pain in the ass mortgage helper…I mean suite. What I don’t understand is how you could possibly have the balls to request a $1500 damage deposit because you stupidly spent $3800 to replace the flooring in your 387 sq ft suite. Not only is this totally asinine, it is also against the Residential Tenancy act….you may want to pick up a copy.

So once again, thank you to all the great homeowners out there who provide lovely, reasonable places for us bsmnt dwellers to live…and to those money grubbing slumlords… you sirs and madams can kindly suck it.
Yes I know, totally juvenile and probably a bit hurtful, but whatever, it's my opinion and that's the only one that counts right? RIGHT? Right.
Have a pleasant day.