Bacon & Sausage Breakfast Tacos....Fuck I'm Hungry!!



Izzy's Breakfast Taco-notice the excess of Bacon

 Dammit, why do I do this to myself? I start looking through food blogs and recipes before lunch and of course I'm starving, so it all looks sooooo goooood and I can't wait to get home and try a new recipe....then I look at the sad sack of food I brought for lunch (home made soup and a bun); it's OK, but not what I want after reading about bacon inspired dishes for hours...I mean just a few minutes...I am at work.
There was one that I had seen before, the bacon weave wrapped around cheese which had a link to another site where there was a bacon weave rolled up around scrambled eggs, which kinda reminded me of the bacon and egg tacos I make....oh internet, what a tangled web of bacon you weave....hhhmmm bacon weave webs for Halloween treats??? Hhhmmm...loosely weaved and covered in chocolate, maybe some white chocolate highlights to enhance a web-ish design? Sweet Jebus I am a genius! Remind me about that idea, I will most likely forget in the morning...

And once again I digress. So after all that I was hungry for bacon...sigh...and none to be found here in the office....with just a natural food store next door, which I can tell you does NOT sell bacon in any way shape or form...damm hippies can go die in a hole.

So ANYWAYS....The point is I thought I should share this recipe with my whopping 8 followers...you lucky little devils, this is THE BEST breakfast taco you will ever eat. FOR REAL.

Bacon, Sausage and Egg Breakfast Tacos...Ok Brunch because breakfast is never served before 11am in my house.

You Will Need...Serves 4, get more if you are feeding more people...der.

- 1 package soft small corn tortillas
- 8 eggs
- a few splashes of cream or milk
- 1 pound of bacon
- 8 breakfast or 4 chorizo sausages
- 1/2 cup cheddar & mozza cheese, grated
- 1/2 cup salsa-homemade or store bought, I really don't care
- several dashes of green Tabasco - because it is so much better than the red.
- 8-10 pickled jalapeno slices (optional for the kids I guess...wimps)

1. Cook your bacon and sausage in whichever way you prefer - I like to bake my bacon in the oven as you all know. Sausage I would assume most, if not all, people would do it in a frying pan. If you're smart like me, I bbq my chorizo when it's not pouring fucking rain outside.

2. Crack eggs into a large-ish bowl and beat gently. If you beat the crap out your eggs before you scramble them that is why they turn out watery and gross. Do it just enough to break up the yolks and breakdown some of that really slimy slug like white part  (which is called the CHALAZAE,

it's like the egg's umbilical cord...once again I say, nature is gross...thanks Google). Heat your egg scrambling pan with a good amount of butter on medium high, like about 6. Once the butter is foamy pour in the eggs. Using a flat wooden spatula, stir the eggs every 10 seconds or so, moving the cooked bits off the bottom of the pan, Do this gently as well, we're not mashing potatoes here people. When the eggs are about half way cooked but still runny, remove the pan from the heat and add a few big splashes of cream or milk. Gently fold and stir in all the cream/milk, then put back on the heat to finish cooking. We like our eggs soft and creamy so after I add the milk I do another 30-45 seconds on the heat,  then off and keep folding till they are perfect. Izbot will only eat eggs cooked this way, my dad made her scrambled eggs one morning and she wouldn't eat them because he put the milk in with the raw eggs. I wanted to smack her for being so rude, but hey, the kid has high standards. Grampa's eggs come in a very close second thought cuz he knows how to not over cook them. OK seriously, I did not intend this to turn out as a lesson on how to scramble eggs, but I can't help myself, I'm a dork.

3. Heat a frying pan on high till very hot, not quite smoking. Once it's REALLY  hot, you can warm the tortillas one at at time. I used to do it straight on the burner, but they get kinda burned tasting. Apparently it works well with a gas stove on low, but since I don't have one I can't tell you how well that turns out.

4. Assemble as follows... in the warm tortilla...1 sausage ( if using chorizo, slice in half lengthwise), 2 pieces of bacon, some eggs, Tabasco, cheese, salsa, jalapenos. You could throw on some sour cream, avocado, squeeze of lime as well if you're feeling fancy. I usually use my homemade salsa with has lots of lime and cilantro in it, so if you're just using store bought, try that. Or make a quick salsa lazy-ass, it's pretty simple and quick.

We do have this quite often for breakfast on the weekends, the Izbot and Minellynator both like it because they add whatever they like JUST LIKE WHEN IT'S TACO NIGHT. And The Man will eat anything I cook cuz he hearts me. Amazing. Simple. Bacony. Delicious.

The Road Trip That Saved My Life By Almost Killing Me...

So OK, remember how I was all doom and gloom last week? Well, I'm feeling much better now. And all it took was a road trip with some of my favorite people in the world , The MNE Family.... these are the best bunch of friends a bacon lover could possibly ask for, we had the time of our lives....well most of us I think. I guess I can only speak for myself and the people that were immediately around me...and there may be some forgotten moments that are lost forever due to over consumption of Jager.

So without further ado, here is my simple recipe for Eggs Benny, made my bacon way. Mostly it's just tips about how to poach eggs and cook the bacon, but I must share something of that trip here to induct the weekend into the annals of the world wide web history....annnals...A.P.!!!
Wild Cow Breakfast
Enough to feed 4 wild cows after a long night of ass porn.

- 4 English Muffins
- 1 1/2 lbs of thick sliced bacon
- 8 Eggs
- 2-3 Tbsp white vinegar, one extra large splash
- Salt

- Hollandaise Sauce- you can either try and make it or use a package. When we showed up at Dawn's house all hung over and scruffy to take over her kitchen, there was already a pot made so I just used that.

- Paprika

1. Place as much bacon as you can fit on a parchment lined cookie sheet. Bake in the oven on 325 ish for about 25-30 minutes. I find that overlapping when you have a large amount of bacon works just fine, in fact it works better because the bacon kind of braises in it's own fatty goodness. I usually flip it once about half way through. Keep it in longer if you like it crispy, but I find soft bacon works best for the Benny.

2. Bring a shallow pot of water to the boil. Add a large pinch of salt and the vinegar. Turn down to a medium simmer.

3. Crack 1 egg into a small bowl, making sure not to break the yolk. If you do, throw it out, it's useless now.

4. At water level, gently tip the egg into the pot allowing a small amount of water into the bowl. This gives the egg a gentle entry (OMG Serena...just a little bit, I'll be gentle, I promise I won't hurt you...) into the hot water. Let it sink a bit and turn white for about 15 seconds, and gently move it around the pan, folding the white over itself. Keep the egg floating until it is set so it doesn't stick to the bottom of the pan, it should firm up a bit in about another 15-20 seconds. Repeat the same process with each egg, swirling the water as you go to keep them separated. If you use a large enough pan you should be able to do all 8. But if you're not a cool as me, you may only want to do 4 at a time. Cooking time will vary depending on how runny/hard you like your eggs. Keep the water at a very gentle simmer on low.

So the vinegar is key here. Vinegar is what stops it from spreading out into the water and becoming a white cloudy mess. Don't worry about putting too much in, I dumped about a 1/2 a cup in once and didn't notice any difference int the taste...although the whites were a bit tougher, but still good.

5. Toast and butter the english muffins.

Once everything is cooked, assemble as follows: spread a spoonful of hollandaise over each english muffin-yes it does already have butter on it, you got a problem with that? Layer on 3 slices of bacon, the poached egg, more hollandaise and dust with paprika.

That's about it, pretty simple once you get the hang of poaching the eggs...and taming wild cows.